“Because what men fear the most about going to prison is what women fear the most walking down the sidewalk…”

It is true. Being a woman is hard work. Being a woman who wants to achieve something? Even Harder. Every day, you are going to meet umpteen people, who will try to put you down, show their surprise and apprehension at your goals, ask you if you are looking to get married soon, and so on. In a ludicrous show of double standards, men of the same age are asked about their career goals and egged on to achieve more (than their counterparts).

Statistically, the odds of being attacked by a shark are 1 in 3,748,067 ; while a woman’s odds of being sexually harassed are 1 in 6 .. Yet fear of sharks is seen as rational while being cautious of men is seen as misandry. Seriously?

In a country where the advertising industry, film industry, fashion industry, and almost every other industry there is, are set on objectifying women and degrading their status, it can be quite difficult to preach feminism. But you can make sure that people’s misogynist ways affect you as little as possible. Here are a few tips for the same:

10. Be yourself

Like superhero comics? Go ahead and start a collection. Into sports ? Do not opt out of them for fear of appearing ‘masculine’. Do not become a victim of gender policing and stereotypes. That being said, if being girly is what you want, that’s what you should be. You do not need to fit into any roles . There are no specific tasks you are supposed accomplish on account of your gender.

9. Know that feminism is about freedom

Feminism is not about wearing short clothes and neither is it about wearing modest clothes, it is about having the freedom to choose , without the fear of judgement.

8. Do not be afraid of your sexuality

Do not be afraid or ashamed of exploring your sexuality, desires and fantasies. They are a part of who you are.

Go on, make that first move. Contrary to what people want you to believe,it does not make you dirty or whorish. And if you find that that intimidates your man, let the words of Adichie ring through “The kind of man who is intimidated by me is exactly the kind of man I have no interest in”.

7. Know that other girls are not your competition

Many men believe that the easiest way to please women is by degrading others.   It is a sad reality that most women are not comfortable in their skin and require validation from men to feel satisfied. When that is not enough or available, they seek to overcome their inferiority complex by putting down other women. This dangerous cycle needs to stop now. The only person that you need to compete against is yourself. Strive to be the best that you can be – for you. Competing against other women to prove yourself superior is a financial and emotional drainer. Because of this mindless competition we become mean, envious and hypocritical. It is pointless.

6. Do not engage in slut shaming

Because when people say that a woman wearing revealing clothes deserves to be assaulted, they are saying that women’s bodies are inherently deserving of rape. That women are inherently deserving of rape. That women need to make sure their bodies are hidden in order to not deserve to be raped. This is misogyny in its purest form. Disassociate yourself from discussions about this. Or better yet, remove the word ‘slut’ from your vocabulary altogether.

5. Do not let anyone tell you what you cannot do

The greatest pleasure is in doing things that people say you cannot do. As History goes to show, girls can do ANYTHING they set their minds to, except get the society’s approval on this.

4. Do not let the society’s definitions of beauty define you

“How do boys manage to look good without makeup?” “Because society has not told them they look bad without it!” Sadly, this rings with truth. Let the stereotypes of beauty be done away with already.

Big, fat, skinny- it doesn’t matter what you look like. Be your own person. It is your body.  It belongs to you. It is not public property. Other people do not, under any circumstances, have any right to tell you what to do with it. Other people do not have any right to make you feel bad about it. Do not let them.

 3. Do not dumb yourself down

From a young age, women are programmed to believe that smart women have a hard time finding a man. So they have to choose between brains and men. Constant jokes about women being dumb, advertisements about women being treated nothing less than objects and being okay with it, popular television show characters who are missing a brain , all make sure that it is hard wired into women’s brains that they are SUPPOSED to act this way. If they act any other way, everybody will be confused or intimidated.

In her article “Why DO smart girls dumb down for men?” , Liz Jones talks about a worrying but increasingly common affliction with young women these days, the Silly Me syndrome. Symptoms include giggling more than usual, being scared of things that they wouldn’t normally be scared of, and other ways of acting like ‘a miserable dame needing to be rescued’ when around a guy. Liz suggests that a good combat method is to think and behave more like a man. Would he apologise and play dumb when answering a question? Of course not, so you shouldn’t either. If you speak with confidence, most people think you’re right. Try it. That’s what men do.

2. Do not practice misandry

Misandry refers to the hatred of males as a sex. Do not be misguided into thinking this is what feminists stand for. They don’t. It is okay ( and needed in most situations) to be cautious around men, but do not feel the need to hate on all men just because you believe in feminism.

1. Speak up

No more ‘It’s none of my business’

No more ‘Boys will be boys’

No more ‘She was flirting with him’

No more ‘She’s too smart to let that happen’

No more ‘Not my problem’

No more ‘She was drunk’

No more ‘She was asking for it’

No more.